Well that’s the only explanation I can come up with. I’m haunted by a very pissed off ghost that hates all kinds of electronic equipment. Maybe it was someone who was struck by lightning while talking on his mobile phone sitting at his computer and watching TV. He may or may not have been eating ice-cream at the time because I suddenly want ice cream and of course that couldn’t be because I’m a pig. Me? Never. Oink!

Maybe I should seek advice from Natalina over at Extraordinary Intelligence.

Some very whacky things happen to electrical goods while I’m around. I would put most of it down to my ridiculous clumsiness and technological ineptitude but there are just too many weird things; computers freeze and crash on a regular basis both at work and at home. Yes definitely ineptitude I hear you say…but wait there’s more! I barely have any light left in my house as light bulbs pop off at increasing frequency. One didn’t even have enough civility to wait for me to leave, it blew up in my hand.

Last week my internet connection left home. Not even a note of goodbye. I just opened my laptop and nothing. But just to tease me, every few hours it would come back on just long enough for me to notice and then disappear again. Like it was winking at me.  Its evil blinking modem light basically telling me to sod off, that it could come and go as it pleased. Many hours of talking to call centres located somewhere on the outskirts of Mumbai and still nothing. A couple of days later it was back as if nothing happened. My dirty little slut of an internet just ran off for a few days of debauchery and returned without a word of apology. Now it probably has the pox…again.

Well, then I obviously have faulty wiring (hmm, my shrink tells me that all the time) but that wouldn’t explain my mobile (cell) phone going off it’s trolley and refusing to send a basic text message from late last night. It also has a nasty habit of turning itself on and off at the most inconvenient times. After endless hours of frustration and trying everything imaginable today, the lovely makers of the phone reset it for me. Yay, my phone is finally working. So I settled down to watch TV and all of a sudden the bloody thing stops working and asks me for a PIN! The set top box, not the actual television but that’s beside the point – I don’t have a PIN.  Whilst I’m rummaging through my paperwork trying to find the manual it just pops back to life again.

I think I should also add to this that my last shiny new mobile phone lasted a little over 12 months and would then suck through battery life like a hungry baby with a bottle of milk. I had to carry 4 batteries to last me through the day. Not very convenient. The TV I had before this one gave me an electric shock bad enough to feel like I’d been kicked by a mule and I have a car sitting in my carpark that will no longer change gears.

So I’m either in need of a very good electrician or an exorcist. Know anyone that does both?

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